She Left Me

She left me roses by the stairs.

She left me a message from yesterday.

She left me a note in the fridge apologizing for being a drunken mess and making me feel uncomfortable last night.

She left me with a broken heart.

She left me no choice. I had to go speak with the postmaster.

She left me riddled with scars.

She left me for Jesus.

She left me with a soggy bowl of Trix.

She left me some goose, so I guess I’ll just have to blame it.

She left me speechless today.

She left me a fondue pot.

She left me in Wal-Mart.

She left me for Scott. Look at her now, dummy.

She left me a few dozen snickerdoodles to live on.

She left me a list of chores to do while she’s gone.

She left me for Miss America.

She left me for Jordan a couple times, too.

She didn’t leave me because I called her big nose. She left me because I got caught.

She left me a half-eaten bag of Hostess Donuts on my doorstep.

She left me a message, but I have no way to reply to her.

She left me before we met.

-Editor (Twitter search phrase “she left me”)

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