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  Poegles

  by Justin Hendrix & Dave Gunton

  

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I Hate Squirrels

Do you find squirrels to be as much a pain as I do?

Proclaim your hate for these furry menaces to sanity for the entire world to see!

I hate Squirrels. One more reason why the rat with a puffy tail must die

I hate squirrels. I live in Indianapolis not too far from downtown

I hate that even though the neighborhood is filled with fruit and nut trees you chose to ransack my house.

There are a million reasons why I hate squirrels, but the above is the very first reason: they’re just gross rats that can climb trees. …

They ate ALL the small green apples on our three large apple trees. No apples this year. Boo-hoo. I hate ’em too

This is why I hate squirrels. Maybe they have the right idea over in England

I hate squirrels: tree rats. They eat the birdseed which I buy for the birds, or they go and bury it and then completely forget where they’ve hi dden it

I hate you for being able to fly and climb up flat wooden houses and slip in through a window opened two fucking inches so that I can get some fresh fucking air!

Do you have any idea how creepy it is to be in your living room and realize that there is a squirrel sitting on your deck watching you?

I hate squirrels for looking cute when their tail is so fluffy and you are crouching on your hind legs eating acorns with their little hands.

They have beady, little eyes and big poufy tails and those two traits don’t go

So, we have this rooster in my backyard that flew in (or however roosters move, either flying or walking) and my grandpa gave me a trap to try to get it

I carved a pumpkin a week or two back. The resident terrorist squirrels at my apartment complex have taken it upon themselves to slowly eat my pumpkin masterpiece

Squirrels Hate Hare-Less Hot Pepper Squirrel Repellent which is why you should use it!

I know squirrels spent too much time near my toaster on the counter.

I hate squirrels for snacking and not even finishing anything. I mean, my god, don’t you know how wasteful that is?!

I hate that I won’t know it’s you when I go squirrel hunting and I might kill your enemies instead. I hate that somehow I might make you happy.

I hate that I know my hate is illogical.

I hate that now I don’t feel safe in my bedroom because I never shut the window when it’s not raining.

I hate you for creeping me out.

I hate that even if I could go on a squirrel killing spree I will never kill you.

I hate you for using the beautiful canopy of Japanese maple outside my window as a launching pad for breaking & entering my house.

I hate that I now view that tree suspiciously. Like a fucking tree could be an accomplice.

I hate them for living in the world with me.

And for being so prevalent in the East Bay.

I hate that I don’t own a gun.

Thank you, the animal killing and eating management.

-Anthony in Chicago (search phrase “i hate squirrels”)

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